110425_office day

office

I went into the office today. I left my apartment at 6:55 and arrived around 7:35. The sun was rising on my way to the office, but on my way back, which was 17:05 to 6:05 (took longer on the way back because the bus was late), it was completely dark.

I wasn't feeling well mentally, so I tried cheering myself with cookies again but it didn't work. I don't think food does a good job of cheering me up.

sourdough

Growing up in SF, my definition of sourdough was sourdough. It had to have a strong tang to it.

So far, none of the "sourdoughs" I've tried where I live met my expectations, to the point where I just want to bake my own. But I'm not that desperate for it, so I guess I'll just keep looking – or just visit SF

feeling bad

I have PTO planned for 1.5 days next week and a day the following week, and I feel bad because work is pretty busy – at least for one of the projects I'm on. For context, I work in the consulting industry, so I often work on multiple projects simultaneously.

Now I know that, when I say this, people would react,
"No, don't feel bad!"

But what if I just can't turn that switch off?

grind

I've been hearing from career coaches that you should grind the first couple years of your career.

Or should I?

But what if at this point, I feel like I'm burning on a tiny twig? What if I've already snapped in half and am hanging off a cliff on my pinky finger? Is work worth the soul-crushing experience? Would I regret it in the future for not grinding even if I end up at a very, very bad place (I won't mention where)?

These aren't rhetorical questions – I really don't know.

dc

I love this place with all my heart.

But at the same time, I hate how it gives me heartaches whenever I leave.

It's pretty sad to think that next week will be my last time visiting, until who-knows-when.

See you tomorrow,
Ael