110625_last day being 23

23

Today's my last day being 23, forever.

I'm realizing I spent about 6 months burnt out, and 3-4 months before that going through some other hardships, so yes, 23 was a hard year in terms of relationships and work.

Wow, I didn't realize this until I wrote this down.

I sat on this thought for a few minutes, and I concluded that I don't want to have the same thoughts on my last day of being 24. Although I doubt 24 will be any easier – in fact, I expect it to be even harder – I want to choose not to be as sad as I was at 23.

marathons

I want to run a marathon one day. I need more proof that I can do hard things, that I can push further till the end, even if I feel like I'm about to die.

my biggest barrier might be... me

I decided to take time off half-marathon training for the next 6 months or so – maybe even up to a year, we'll see – and instead focus on building speed for shorter distances.

I was calculating my goal pace for the 5k, and I ended up with a 4:15 min/km (6:50 min/mile) pace. The first, and immediate, thought that I had when I saw that number was,

I can't run a kilometer in less than 5 minutes? That feels wrong.

It was at that same moment that I realized I had already set a mental limit for myself, that I should not run a kilometer any faster than 5:00 min/km (8:03 min/mile) pace. I'm not saying I can maintain a 4:xx min/km pace for 5 kilometers as of now, but it made me think,

If I set boundaries like this in other aspects of my life, what would I be able to accomplish, if anything at all?

The bottom line is, I want to prove myself wrong, and I have to prove myself wrong.

24

Tomorrow I'll wake up 24.

I hope it can be a year that I prove myself wrong in many aspects of my life, and in doing so, grow beyond my own barriers.

See you tomorrow,
Ael